Short Book Reflection
Summary:
The short book I choose to read was Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. This book was written 3 years after her book, We Should All Be Feminists. This book, first written as a letter, was in response to her childhood friend asking her for advice on how to raise her new baby girl a feminist.
I won’t ruin the book by giving away all 15 suggestions that she proposes but I will list my favorites.
#3 Teach Her the Idea of Gender Roles is Nonsense-I love her quote here “Because you are a girl is never a reason for anything. Ever” (p.14). She also talks about a story of going to the mall with a Nigerian Mother and daughter. The daughter is fascinated by a toy helicopter and ask’s her mother for one and the mother responds by saying no, you have dolls.
#6 Teach Her to Question Language– She says, “language is the repository of our prejudices, beliefs and assumptions” (p. 26). You have to decide for yourself the things you will not say to your child. What you say matters, it teaches her what to value.
#8 Teach Her to Reject Likeability– Here she says, “her job is not to make herself likeable, her job is to be her full self” (p. 36). We teach girls to be nice. We do not teach the boys the same thing. It is dangerous.
#15 Teach Her about Difference– Here she says, “make difference normal” (p. 61). And by teaching her about difference, you are equipping her to survive in a diverse world.
Other books I have read by her are: Americanah, Half of a Yellow Sun, We Should All Be Feminists and Notes on Grief. I just love the way she writes.
Classroom Use:
This would not be a good book to use in the classroom with younger students because it is not developmentally appropriate. However, I would use the suggestions she provides, as an approach in my classroom when working with younger children. For example, #3 Teach Her the Idea of Gender Roles is Nonsense. In my classroom, I would not tell a girl she could not do something simply because she was a girl or vice versa for a boy. I would share stories, books and pictures where traditional gender roles and stereotypes are dismantled.
I would use this book for language teaching purposes in an Adult ESL class. Obviously, there would need to be some background knowledge around this topic and depending on the level of English, some ideas and terms may need to be scaffolded properly. I think it has great suggestions to have conversations around. Topics and themes that could be discussed, around are; feminism, women’s rights and empowering women which is helpful for women and men to know.
Discussion Points to Reflect on:
Some of the points of the book that we could talk, discuss and dig deeper on:
- #7 Never speak of marriage as an achievement– I think as a class we could discuss marriage and what it means to be married in the eyes of a women or a man. We could discuss dowry’s, traditional weddings, non-traditional weddings, same sex couples getting married, child brides, and so much more. I think with this topic could go in some many ways and is not just tied to women.
- #9 Give her a sense of identity– On this topic we could discuss identity as a whole. What does it mean? How do you see yourself? How do you see others? How can we be more inclusive of others? Why is it important to know your own identity and how can you be aware of others and their identities? This topic can go in so many other ways and is not just tied to women.
Embodiment of the book:
This book totally embodies the core concepts of this class and the issues we discuss. The main theme this book embodies is Gender Equality. All people who identify as female, wanting equitable treatment in the world not just because they are seen as “female” but because it is the decent and right thing to do. I want to make reference to something Adichie calls “Feminism Lite”, which can look like feminism but is really not. It reminds me of the movie “My Big Fat Greek Wedding, where the mom is talking to the daughter, and she says, “he is the head (referring to the dad), but I am the neck and I can turn the neck anyway I want to”. “If a woman has power, why do we need to disguise that she has power?” (p.24).
Citation
Adichie, Chimamanda Ngozi. (2017). Dear Ijeawele, of a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions. Alfred A. Knopf.
Hi Yanci, thank you so much for sharing this thorough and thoughtful reflection of the book Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. By the end of your summary, I found myself wishing that you did provide all 15 suggestions, because the ones you provided really made me think about the impact that even (what seem to be) small decisions can have on the way a child grows up thinking about themselves and the world around them. I am definitely going to have to add this book to my list of must-reads! Also, I agree that, while it may not be appropriate for your younger learners to read this book, implementing some of the suggestions she provides (such as dismantling traditional gender roles) is a feasible way to incorporate these social justice objectives in your classroom. Thanks again for sharing, Yanci!
Thank you Stephanie for your comments! I almost did put all 15 suggestions but then my reflection would have been so long! Definitely add this to your list! While I was reading the book, I could literally see and play out all the scenarios in my head of all the suggestions in my own life and how they affected me. Wishing that my mother would of brought me up more as a feminist and now knowing that if I ever have kids, they will all be feminists!
Thank you Yanci for sharing this book and your thoughts. I resonate with many of them, especially the one “give her a sense of identity”. I think in different stages of life, we may have different identities and this is something that we have to explore. Also, how we perceive the world and ourselves also changes as time goes by. I like how to extend those ideas to a deeper discussion and not just talk about women/feminism.
Thank you Mujun for your comments! I like how you said, that we experince different identities at different stages in our lives and that we need to explore that further! I think that is a great idea. I can see this being a great discussion in an EFL classroom and or in an ESL classroom for pre-teens and or teenagers who are just figuring out who they are and how they want the world to perceive them.
Hi Yanci, thanks for this awesome reflection! I also read this book this semester (seemed appropriate as I become a mom of a baby girl), and have read We Should All Be Feminists in the past. I love her writing style as well, and I think it would be mostly accessible for adult ESL learners as you mentioned. I also appreciate how, in that setting, the book incorporates Nigerian culture and has the potential to shake up ESL curriculum that is very American-centric. “Teach her to question language” also seems to me to have a lot of potential, because as students are learning English, it could be really valuable to also learn to question English and all the assumptions embodied in common usage of the language – and how every speaker has the power to make change in the language. “Teach her to reject likeability” was one of my favorites as well. There are so many layers to how I was taught to value being likeable as a young girl, and they are difficult to unlearn. I can’t remember which suggestion it was under, but another part that stuck with me was how the mother needed to model to her daughter how she valued herself – in other words, that young girls are also absorbing their ideas about gender from their parents (in addition to the broader society, mainstream culture, etc.). I love that you would put these suggestions into practice with your young students – a good reminder that teachers model more than how to teach and learn!
Thanks for your comments Mollie!! Yes, I love that you added these books to help you raise little baby H. I can see her out there in 2040 crushing the patriarchy! I would be so proud to have you as a mom! I know how hard it is to unlearn all the things we were taught as young girls and how young girls are still being taught that today. The suggestion you were trying to think of was the first one, “Be a full-person” A mother is something you are but Motherhood doesn’t define you!! You are definitely showing us proof of this!!
Hi Yanci, thank you for this clear and practical reflection! I didn’t know that Adichie wrote a follow-up to We Should All Be Feminists. Giving advice to a mother about how to raise her daughter is such a powerful framing device, and I want to use the steps that you mentioned in my teaching. I want to take this a step further and emphasize that fathers should also be heavily involved in raising their daughters (and sons!) as feminists. I saw a post on Twitter recently that said something like “I realized that I have never heard a woman say ‘having a son taught me to respect men.'” Too many men become feminists (or even just learn to “respect” women) when they have daughters. Feminism must start from how we raise our children, not only our daughters but also, crucially, our sons.
Thank you for your comments Zoya! I completely agree with you! I will say that she does make some reference to this point as well! In her second suggestion, “Do it together” which refers to parenting, which should happen by both mother and father. She says reject the language of help. A husband or partner is not helping take of the care baby, they are doing what they should be doing and shouldn’t get any special recognition for that. When women celebrate “help” from a man it tells the man that taking care of babies is a female job.
Yanci, thank you for your fantastic reflection and for your reference to “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” (one of my all-time favorite comedies)!!
Chimamanda is a global treasure, and I am so glad that you shared your interpretation of this work with us! I particularly like your take on #6 and think it is important for all of us to be aware of the ways in which the language we use impacts ourselves and those around us–especially the implicit messages we telegraph to children through the language/terminology/turns-of-phrase we use when talking about marginalized and non-marginalized communities.
The only other point I think I’d add is that these are critical lessons for all people to learn and integrate into our ways of thinking and being regardless of gender–not just women or girls (but I understand Chimamanda’s emphasis on and drive to instill these lessons in her daughter given sexism and the patriarchy).
Thanks for your comments, Greg! I am glad somebody liked my reference to My Big Fat Greek Wedding, it’s also one of my favs!! I am so glad that you and Zoya both brought up a critique about the book. Unlike Mollie, I didn’t provide a critique on something that could be improved upon. I agree with both of your comments. The books suggestions should be applied to people of all genders! Like, I mentioned to Zoya, she does make references to certain situations that may involve boys and men, like in suggestion 13 on “Romance” she talks about how we teach girls to act in a relationship but boys don’t get taught the same things. So, when people get into relationships there can be a different set of expectations that one thinks the other one holds. It’s important that we teach boys/men these things as well.
Yanci, like your friends, I wasn’t familiar with this book and I think it could potentially provide good guidelines for teachers. I wonder though how much Adichie talks about socialization in this book, because I think it’s really important to frame these suggestions under socialization practices, otherwise following one suggestion while ignoring others, or failing to understand the effect of socialization in relation to these suggestions will be a futile attempt to achieve feminism or feminist pedagogy. I was in a toy store with my 4 year old nephew on Sunday and we looked at potential Christmas gifts for me, and he didn’t even want to walk down the aisle where the barbies are (Not that I am saying barbies are good). I pulled him to that aisle and said he can look at them and play with them if he likes, but his reaction was “I am a boy, boys don’t play with barbies.” And then I ended up explaining him that boys could also play with barbies, and cooking toys and etc, but not sure how much of it really sank in. Even parents are limited in their capacity to counter the societal impact on their children’s socialization. So long story short, I think any advice, strategy, etc. should start with that “know the impact of socialization (family, school, media, etc) on your child” and develop tools to fight against that.
Perfectly balanced between detail and simplicity.
Bookmarking this for later.
This helped me a lot, thank you.