Understanding your Priviledges
When reflecting on my past, I realized how lucky I have been in my past. I was born and bred in the mid-1990s in China, in a rather harmonious family with a great mom, and attended the best schools, where the school values protected me from “common frustrations of exams” among my peers.
I was born in mid-1990s, which was the early years when China started the market economy and have witnessed significant changes in the fast-developing decade in China. I am lucky to be a Y-generation, growing up with the wide-spread of the internet, and still bear the memory of lives before the internet era. I have also witnessed the development of social media and discourses or agenda change in and about China. This is a gift from history. These experiences help me understand the differences between cultures and communities, and may remind me to stay open about the varieties of the world.
Besides, because I am the only child, I do not need to compete with my siblings, especially male siblings for resources and opportunities within the family. I know that the one-child policy has caused increased cases of girl feticide, but I have to admit that I am fortunate to be a girl born in a province where the one-child policy was most strictly conducted. Without that, I may be another example of the narratives about the neglected sisters. This status has inspired me to perceive things from more than one perspective and realize the complexity of social justice issues.
I have got more supports than pressure from my family, especially my mother in all perspectives. My mother has been the bread earner in my family and thus performed as a role model of a powerful woman for me. She has been supporting me whole-heartedly and has been sponsoring my education. Thus, I scarcely learned patriarchy within my family.
When I was at school in China, I did not suffer much from the condemned exam-oriented education but enjoyed it as a challenge and a special communication process with the teachers and test designers. Being admitted in the best schools from grades 7 to 12, where over 95% of graduates are admitted to the first-tier universities in China, and a steady “exports” of about 50 students to top universities abroad, I have not been evaluated by my teachers by our grades ONLY. I know this is not common among my peer Chinese students who are under the pressure of college-entrance exams and are sometimes, if not always, belittled because of unsatisfying exam scores.
I have been fortunate in my early years, and I am even luckier to realize this fortune in my higher education experience. One of my life-changing courses was a summer school course I attend in UC Berkeley called “Gender in American Culture”, where I realized how stereotyped I once was.
I am not sure if I have a story of fighting against injustice, but I have realized that there are some small yet may be significant things I can do to make a difference in my class, such as providing examples that may arouse reflections about social justice issues. As a language teacher to-be, and in my fifth year of being an international student in the United States, I finally started to realize that many social problems that are commonly talked about in one country may be perceived distinct differently in another. This distinction is what I should take in mind when preparing my classes in different contexts. I have grown up in all kinds of borderlands: borderland between mass media and social media, the borderland between being a girl and an only child under a society gender discrimination, the borderland between exam-oriented education and well-rounded education, the borderland between Chinese and American cultures, etc. On these borderlands, I can better understand and facilitate mutual understanding on both sides across the border and finally eliminate the border.
Hi Keyue,
It’s so nice to read about the path that led you to this time and place. You mention the strong female role model you have in your mother. It certainly seems that she has managed to effectively set up a rich and nurturing environment for you in addition to being the breadwinner. We can easily see why you would look up to her. I am wondering who she looked up to? Who was her strong female role model ?
Hi Rebecca,
Thank you for your question. I asked my mom about her role model and surprisingly, her answer is Zhiyanzhai, a mysterious commenter of the Chinese novel, Dream of the Red Chamber, who is commonly believed to be a woman (Wikipedia Link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zhiyanzhai). However, she admires Zhiyanzhai mostly because of her being “highly educated”, “pursue knowledge”, and being a good facilitator in the success of the novel. She has told me several times that she prefers the role of assistance originally, like Zhiyanzhai, being a commenter instead of an author. This may reveal some systematic restrictions on women such as the dream of being dependent before she got married. However, she did not set limitations for herself and became the leading role and decision-maker in family life.
Hi Keyue,
It’s cool that you had many affordances to help you in life. What would you say was the biggest turning point in realizing the social problems in America? How do you think your identity and experiences in education can help you connect and teach as a language teacher?
Also, your mom’s support and being your role model is exceptional. I was wondering has she given you advice on how to approach life where there are injustices, especially as a Chinese woman? Like, how has her being the family breadwinner encouraged or discouraged you?
Thank you Maya for your comment. The biggest turning point maybe my summer school experience at UC Berkeley, where I took a course about race, gender, and LGBTQ issues in the United States. That was the first time I started to realize my stereotypes and started to observe the stereotypes in daily lives.
As a language teacher, I think my greatest treasure about identity and experiences is my experience as an international student who once worked on cultural studies. I do not dare to say that I have strong intercultural competence, but at least I am aware that every “unreasonable” phenomenon may have some reason. I wish I can help my students develop intercultural competence and break the stereotypes toward certain groups. Because I am privileged in more than one ways and that my cultural backgrounds are very likely to be distinct from my future students, I am not very confident talking about their societies and social justice problems. However, what I can do is to break the stereotypes implicitly by the materials I presented in class, and raise discussion questions about certain topics.
I have never thought before whether my mom being the breadwinner has encouraged or discouraged me. She once told me that her dream was to be a dependent role in a conjugal relationship but find my dad more dependent on her lol. She is among the ones that were influenced by traditional gender roles but forced to break it because of various reasons. I think she can be a good feminist model in being both an excellent mother and an independent lady, and free from the unfortunate life experiences.
Wow Keyue! I was really intrigued by your reflection. I really like the photo you shared as well. It is very meaningful and fits well into the purpose of this reflection task. I didn’t know about your experiences at UC Berkeley. When was this? Can you tell us more what you studied? Was it similar to our course? I had other questions but Maya and Rebecca seemed to address them all. Oh one last note, I like the way you bring up borderlands. I feel that way ALL THE TIME!
Hi Deniz, I attended a six-week summer school at UC Berkeley in 2015. The course I took was an undergraduate class from the Department of Gender and Women Studies. The course named “She is not American…is she? Gender, Sexuality, and Race in American Immigrant Cultures”. We discussed why certain individuals, groups, or communities are excluded from full citizenship, belonging, and “Americanness” from narratives by female and queer authors from minority groups. From that course, I started to reflect on how gender is socially constructed and how my education about “Americaness” has been biased. (Before that course, when talking about “American people”, the first image in my mind was a white person, and my second image may be an African-American NBA basketball player, but never was an Asian face.)
The course talked about how gender, race, and sexuality have shaped American culture and how “settle-colonialism” has silenced the minority groups.
This course has shaped my basic impression of the United States, but recently I am doubting if this course only tells the opinions of those liberalists at Obama’s time.
I learned something new today.
Well explained and easy to follow.
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