Reflection #3: Some LGBTQ issues in China
I lived in Beijing for a couple years and I can’t speak to reflect the consensus of opinions towards LGBTQ issues in China but only a few things that I noticed while living there, as opposed to where I grew up. I noticed that it was more repressed and the community was not “out”. There was one or two “gay bars” in a more international section of Beijing, but in general, I think it was/is a more taboo culture in Chinese society. I had two male friends/colleagues that are gay. One was Canadian, the other Chinese. The Chinese guy was not as open, although some of us were aware (and many suspected) that he was gay, whereas the Canadian was more open about his sexual orientation and less concerned how others viewed it. It appeared that his sexual orientation was more acceptable because he was a foreigner, yet the Chinese was more repressed because of his culture. He said he used to date girls to cover it up within his family and only recently, in secret was dating a guy. One thing that I remember being surprised about was when I heard him speaking Mandarin for the first time. I was shocked how much deeper his voice sounded and how much, for lack of a better word, more “masculine” he sounded speaking his native language than he did speaking English. I remember wondering which voice was his “true” or “real” voice. In reflection, I think, that sounds crazy, clearly both voices were his true voices. But I think, in a way, he was able to reflect his sexual identity more overtly in English than he was able to in his native Mandarin.
Recently I mentioned this topic to our classmate, Wendy (TFL) and she shared with me a Chinese documentary where spouses of gays and lesbians spoke out about the injustices done unto them, being tricked into marrying a gay or lesbian. The video is in Chinese, (without subtitles) so Wendy explained to me that they were expressing how they felt victimized and cheated out of a real marriage and how support groups were being created for them. I felt sad for them, but more sad for the individuals that are so repressed by society and are so pressured to fit into their culture that they marry someone they do not love and will never be sexually compatible with. Being someone with many friends that are openly gay and lesbian and married to who they choose to be, I can’t imagine how oppressed people in other societies must feel, hiding who they truly are.
I think, knowing I’ll have students from different cultures and with different standpoints on LGBTQ issues, it is beneficial as an educator to be prepared knowing what the different viewpoints are… even if their viewpoints are different than my own. I think I need to be sensitive to where students are coming from and what cultural perspectives they where raised surrounded by. As an educator, I can offer an opportunity to engage and reflect on multiple viewpoints and hopefully students will question biases and stereotypes that they have been surrounded by and have the courage to speak up to support the communities that don’t have a voice in their cultures.
Thanks for sharing interesting information and insights about the LGBTQ situations in China, Jeanne! I found it quite interesting to read your comment about your Chinese friend sounding more masculine when he spoke Mandarin than when he spoke English. Was it because of his tone of voice or his word choice? I do feel that different languages have different ways of showing masculinity/femininity, so speaking different languages might affect how much you can show your gender identity, depending on the nature of the language and also how much command you have over the language.
About the Chinese guy dating a girl to reassure his (?) family and secretly dating a guy, sadly, I do think it happens a lot because I hear a similar kinds of stories all the time. It reminds me of the recent news I heard in Japan about this husband who came out to his wife that he was a gay and secretly dating with a guy throughout his marriage life, after decades of being married to his wife. He got married to the wife because of the pressure from his family and also secure his social status (?), but after all those years, he had to come out because of mental suffering and guilt, and it brought a lot of shock to the wife and their children. I think the society really needs to change so that LGBTQ+ people will feel welcomed and won’t be forced to choose the path they don’t truly wish to take!
Hi Mari! Exactly! Your example of the husband in Japan sounds similar to the stories in the documentary from China that Wendy shared with me.
To clarify about my friend… when he spoke Mandarin his voice was much deeper sounding, whereas with English it was softer and I guess more higher pitched. And I agree, it’s horrible that they feel they need to hide their true identity and try and assimilate to a cultural standard that goes against their natural state of being… and the societal pressure towards repression that leads to the depression and guilt.. it’s heartbreaking!
The situation in China seems very similar to the one in Turkey especially in relation to marriages and covering it up one’s sexual identity with a “fake” partner. But we need to be careful – just because someone sounds or acts feminine, it doesn’t mean they are gay – this is why the distinction between gender and sexual identity is crucial. I have several friends who sound and act gay or feminine but are married with kids. When others meet them, they assume “they are gay” but then they find out that they are not. They might be secretly gay or they may not even know that they are gay [resisting the idea because of social pressure]- we won’t know – but it might also be that they do not have strict feminine or masculine gender identities – taking us to the fact that gender as non-binary. So at this point, it’s also important not to make any assumptions about anyone’s sexual identity and remember the distinction between gender and sexual identities.
I agree, thanks for pointing that out. I didn’t want to use that description, but I don’t know how else to explain the extreme distinction in his voice difference between the two languages. I have had similar friends that people assume were gay and they were in fact married with children, as well. People have made inaccurate assumptions about me, even. And I was treated poorly due too their prejudice attitudes. I actually quit my sorority in college because of it. I didn’t really care if they thought I was gay. I was more pissed off about their discriminatory behaviors towards me because of their assumptions.
Thanks for sharing this, Jeanne!!! I remember talking with my Taiwanese students last year about this concept of “fake marriages”. I had a student who identified as LGBTQ and explained the fear he had in admitting to his family his true identity. I know that Taiwanese and Chinese cultures can be different, but it is interesting to see how this fear is similar in different places.
Hey Kate! Thanks. Yeah, I agree it’s a wide spread issue. Not too long ago it was a common theme in the US, as well. And in parts of the US today, I’m sure it’s still an issue for some.
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“I couldn’t agree more! Your blog stands as a veritable treasure trove of invaluable information presented in the most engaging and accessible manner possible. It’s truly refreshing to encounter someone who comprehends the significance of offering top-notch content completely free of charge. Anticipating with great enthusiasm your forthcoming endeavors!”
What a thoughtful reflection on LGBTQ experiences in China! Your observations really highlight the cultural contrasts in openness. I’ve also noticed how foreign friends often navigate these spaces differently—it’s fascinating yet bittersweet how acceptance can hinge on identity. Thanks for sharing such a nuanced perspective!
Wow, this really sheds light on the cultural differences around LGBTQ acceptance. As someone who’s also lived abroad, I’ve noticed how much local norms shape how open people feel they can be. It’s interesting how being a foreigner sometimes comes with unspoken “exceptions” to social rules. Thanks for sharing such a thoughtful perspective—it’s a reminder that progress looks different everywhere.
This article offers a thoughtful glimpse into LGBTQ experiences in China—thanks for sharing these nuanced observations. As someone who’s also spent time abroad, I think the cultural contrast you highlight is so important. It’s interesting how visibility and acceptance can vary even within the same city, depending on background. Your personal anecdotes really bring these complexities to life. Hoping for more open conversations on this topic globally.
“Really appreciate this honest reflection on LGBTQ experiences in China—it sheds light on nuanced cultural differences. As someone who’s also spent time abroad, I’ve noticed how societal expectations can shape personal expression in contrasting ways. The duality between foreign and local experiences here is especially thought-provoking. It’s a reminder that progress often moves at different paces, even within the same city. Would love to hear more observations about how younger generations are navigating these spaces today!”